Dear friends
A pastoral emergency has occurred.
It being Wednesday, the local tradesmen (for some reason that no doubt harks back to I know not when) deem it acceptable to withdraw their labour for the duration of the afternoon of this particular day each week and thus all businesses within the parish (with the exception of Fags and Mags which appears not to possess a ‘Closed’ sign) remain firmly shut for the duration.
This includes the local veterinary practice and thus I have been called upon to lay hands on Mr Piddlington’s pet tortoise in the hope that a speedy recovery will ensue.
I have not had time to scour my Bible to discover whether or not the exercise I am about to embark on is biblical or otherwise. I surmise that the results will tell all and should my endeavours not ‘do the trick’, as Mr Piddlingon put it, let us at least pray that the inert creature makes it through the night whence the veterinary surgery can once more avail itself of its presently withdrawn expertise.
Onward and upward
Derek