Derek the Cleric
A very British sense of humour…
Some have said that this affable clergyman is my alter ego but that is a suggestion which I’ll strenuously deny. That said, I will confess to the charge of him being a shameless vehicle for my very British sense of humour.
Derek the Cleric began life in the 1990s as the back page cartoon for the Christian Herald newspaper. After the publication’s demise there remained a very large archive of material that seemed too good to waste.
So, in March 2010 I launched Derek the Cleric’s very own blog in which I brought to life not only Derek’s world but that of his church, St Cliff’s. In case you’ve not come across the blog I’ve included it as a feature on this website.
Derek has his own merchandise range (apparently there’s still stock available), appeared as a guest columnist at Christian.co.uk answering conundrums under the guise of his ‘Ask Derek’ column and has also appeared in a book entitled ‘Does God Lol?’ sitting alongside pieces by such comedy greats as Ken Dodd, Frank Carson, Milton Jones and Tim Vine.
He’s to be found in church magazines and newsletters up and down the land and even in The Church of Ireland Gazette.
What next? In Derek’s immortal words… “Onward and upward!”
What You’ve Said About Derek the Cleric
"Crying with laughter"
"You’re a genius"
"Makes me smile"
"Just love Derek"
"Ha ha - Brilliant"
"The gold standard for all church ministers in the UK"
"Made me laugh out loud"
"Love these cartoons"
"Thanks for all the joy you bring to the church"
"Derek, you truly are a wee super star"
"Thanks for the best laugh today"
"Derek the Cleric is brilliant"
"This is clever"
"Thank you for your ministry of laughter"
"You definitely brighten my day"
"Cracked me up"
Now read "Derek the Cleric and the Bishop’s Ultimatum"
A warm welcome to my world and that of my charge, St Cliff’s. I fear that I would not be introducing myself to you had it nor been for my recent annual performance review with the bishop. Having spent the first ten minutes in silence whilst he painstakingly perused St Cliff’s less-than-satisfactory attendance figures, the bishop then proceeded to question my ability to fulfil my vicarious (or should I say, precarious) duties.
Not before time am I preparing to bid a none-too-fond farewell to the last vestiges of winter. Spring is most definitely in the air at St Cliff’s which, to tell the truth, is not the only thing. It would certainly not even have required the services of a nasally-enhanced bloodhound to have detected the disturbing aroma that has recently graced this hallowed building. I was reliably informed that Mrs Bidmarsh and her cleaning ladies had given our pews the ‘once over’ with Mr Sheen or some such branded wood-reviving agent in their usually quick-off-the-mark spring clean (it still being only early March) but, as I suspected, what they intended to use and what they actually ended up coating our ecclesiastical leg rests with were not one and the same thing.
Dear friends Mother’s Day fast approaches and I find that my sermon preparation for this annual fixture on the ecclesiastical calendar is laced with more than a little anxiety and much floor pacing. That this day-long celebration of all things maternal should cast such a long shadow over my normally sanguine demeanour will no doubt surprise you. Should not a man
Dear friends Oh what joy it is to read the Bible with the eyes of revelation and, more so, to discover something that has, I believe, lain hidden from others for two thousand years. I am presently employing a more relaxed method of daily Bible study which boils down to closing my eyes, opening the good book at random, running my
Dear friends A pastoral emergency has occurred. It being Wednesday, the local tradesmen (for some reason that no doubt harks back to I know not when) deem it acceptable to withdraw their labour for the duration of the afternoon of this particular day each week and thus all businesses within the parish (with the exception of Fags and Mags which
Dear friends You may not be aware but I have a penchant for the pastime of rambling. The ‘great outdoors’ is medicine indeed after the sometimes claustrophobic confines of St Cliff’s and I find this leisure pursuit a most therapeutic exercise. To therefore be invited to be chaplain of the local rambling society was a most harmonious proposition – a perfect